He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
