How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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