Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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