My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I would fuck him just for his dog
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
