My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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