her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
