Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
