don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
