So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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