well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
did i walk over a car last night?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
