you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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