Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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