i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
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He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
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with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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