Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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