Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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