Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
