Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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