i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
