I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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