sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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