I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
