Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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