were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
