"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
