just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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