This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize