You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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