the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize
