so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
