...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
