girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize