quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
