Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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