I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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