I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
