What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
