He is an equal opportunity slut.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
