I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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