weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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