she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Dicks are not precious.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
