based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
