I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
