You just made me feel so damn special
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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