He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dear god my vagina.
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