I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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