Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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