dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
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You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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