guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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