$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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