we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize