I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
