I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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