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• (630): View more from Illinois

  My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.

  Fav 12 5490 1297

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job

  Fav 62 6960 2318

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.

  Fav 5 1148 3256

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  soo how bad was i last night?

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Oh my god she just threw up on her dog

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.

  Fav 1 724 1389

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.

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• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  Are you at a park?

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.

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• (714): View more from California

  Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.

  Fav 3 914 462

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.

  Fav 4 470 646

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(

  Fav 2 291 395

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