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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (619): View more from California

  We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.

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• (310): View more from California

  Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests

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• (585): View more from New York

  Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?

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