His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD