Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU