soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
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I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
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If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.