discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
