No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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