some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
