Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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